Values: Uncovering Your Most Valuable Treasures

The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship of all, even above all others. Sometimes, when in a relationship, we can sacrifice what we believe, or what is most important to us, for the sake of being liked or accepted by someone else.

We know when we are sacrificing these most precious things because life just doesn’t feel right, in fact, it feels pretty bad.  It is not until we set a boundary that others are not allowed to cross, or we realign our actions with what we believe, that we can start feeling good again.

You can easily uncover your values, even if they’ve been buried because of your choices, or if someone has repeatedly disrespect them until they are no longer recognizable to you.  The little exercise below will help you uncover what you prize the most so you will know with assurance what is closes to your heart.

Uncover Your Values: An Exercise

A short list of values is provided below.  There are several value lists on the Internet with many more options that can be found with a quick search.  Review the list and do the following:

  1. Identify your top ten values by circling them below, or writing them in your journal.
  2. Cut your list of ten down to your top five.
  3. Ask yourself questions about the root of each value to determine if it is conscious-based or fear-based. Do you hold the value close to you because of something you want to grow or something you want to avoid?
  4. For each one of your five values, rate it between 1-5 (5 highest) with how well you are living in alignment with that value. How true are you acting in relation to each one of your values?





Abundance Adventure Altruism



Clarity Commitment Communication



Connection Creativity Emotional Health



Family Flexibility Freedom



Fun Holistic Living Honesty



Independence Integrity Intimacy



Leadership Loyalty Nature



Order Personal Development Partnership

Physical Appearance


Power Privacy Professionalism



Respect Romance Safety



Self Care Self Expression Self Realization



Service Spirituality Trust



Vitality Other: Other:

 Once you’ve identified your own values, share this exercise with you partner, or close friend.  Remember that there are no right or wrong values, they simply are what they are, but understanding what your and your partner’s values are will help you become closer in the relationship and communicate more effectively.

If you are looking for love, identifying values early on will help direct you in choosing a partner that will compliment your own values.

Uncovering your values is like finding treasure.  Values are little gems that keep you pointed in your own right direction.   You might not be surprised to know the things that are the most important to you because you have naturally felt it your entire life.  The more closely you are living in alignment with your values, the happier you will be.  Living in alignment with what is important to you just feels right.